There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. -Robert Half

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Vacation Planning.

Last week I got pulled over for speeding down Route 66. Ironically, I was just telling someone that morning how I haven't been pulled over in a long time, then I saw those obnoxously bright flashing lights approaching from behind. Honestly, I didn't really think he was pulling me over because I wasn't doing anything illegal; the speed limit was 55 mph and I was going 50 mph, so I thought maybe he just needed to get by me to bust a meth lab or something. I was wrong. He was pulling me over. Apparently I was going 15 mph over "right through the middle of town, (aka right where the speed limit changes from 35 mph to 55 mph) as he unnecessarily informed me numerous times. Plus, I wouldn't really consider the spot where I was pulled over "the middle of town." I mean, there were fields on both sides of me and according to the speed limit I wasn't even speeding because I was definitely at least a mile past the speed limit change when he pulled me over. Anyway, after he ran all my information, he came up to my window and said "Ma'am, I'm going to need you to step out of the car and follow me." What the heck?! He made me come back and look at the speed he clocked me at going and then told me once again that I was speeding right through the middle of town and I need to drive slower. What I really wanted to ask him was:
1) Would you really consider this farmland "the middle of town?" Really? It's more like the middle of nowhere.
2) Was it necessary to ask me to step out of the car? Does that make you feel more powerful?
3) If I was speeding in the 35 mph zone, why did you pull me over so far from it?

But I kept my mouth shut and apologized for my reckless and unexcuseable driving like a good citizen. Everyone I work with is trying to convince me to fight it in court. We'll call it Julie vs. The Cuba Police Department. It will go down in history.
Anyway, Papa is not going to find out about this unjust ticket because spring break is quickly approaching and after much deliberation, Grammy, Papa and I have decided to drive south for the week. Imagine how long it would take us to get to Florida if Papa new I had received a speeding ticket! I'd be going 10 mph below the entire way!

Grammy and I have been planning on going somewhere for a while now, but we finally got Papa to commit. Up to last night, Papa still "wasn't sure" if he was going to come with us.
Julie: So, Papa are you getting excited for our trip?
Papa: Who's trip? You and Grammy?
Julie: Papa, you're going with us!
Papa: I'm still not sure. I'll have to check my schedule.
Julie: I know you don't have anything to do. You're coming with us!

Then last night at dinner, we were discussing our adventure when Papa says:
Papa: Why don't you go to Frisco? (note: Frisco=San Francisco, where my uncle, Jeff, lives)
Grammy: We're going south!
Papa: Don't you want to go to Frisco? Jeff says he has a lot of free plane miles.
Grammy: I know he said that.
Julie: Where do you want to go Papa?
Papa: Well, if I go, I'd rather go to Frisco.
Julie: You're going, Papa.
Papa: Grammy, where do you want to go?
Grammy: I don't care.
Julie: I don't care either.

Later, we were discussing our plans again (it was obviously the hot conversation of the night), and Papa says:
Papa: Grammy, where do you want to go?
Grammy: Well, if I had to choose, I think I would choose San Francisco so I can see Jeff.
Papa: Well, what are we going to do in Frisco for five days?!
Grammy: We can do what every tourist does!
Papa: I just don't think we can find something to do for all of those days.
Grammy: Sure we could! We could go around town, visit the vineyards, go to see Jeff's barnhouse (my uncle is starting his own vineyard and is currently in the process of building a house on the property.) There are lots of things to do! Remember, we went on an Elderhostel there and had lots to do!
Papa: I don't know if that is going to take up all that time.
Julie: Well, Papa what would you rather do?
Papa: I think I'd rather go south.

Grammy just rolled her eyes and told me this is why they never end up going on vacations; Papa can't decide where he wants to go so they just stay home. However, this time, Papa went and called his sister who lives in Panama City, and told her we're coming, so there's no backing out now! He's stuck in a car with us for six days!

This is our current itinerary:
-Leave Tuesday and go to Memphis. There is a restaurant in Memphis that Papa likes and Grammy wants to listen to some dixie tunes.
-After Memphis, head to Kentucky because they have nice state parks.
-Then we head to Vicksburg. I really don't know what or where Vicksburg is but Grammy says they have pretty houses she wants me to see.
-Then, we head to Panama City so we can walk on the beach. Spring break in Panama City with Grammy, Papa, and a lot of drunk college students. Hmm.
-Papa wants to go to a casino somewhere, but I'm not sure where he wants to might be in Panama City or it might be in New Orleans. Either way, we're gonna win big. I'm feeling lucky.

This is going to be epic.


  1. I C A N N O T W A I T for the posts on this one!

  2. That is hilarious. It looks like you have the art of getting what you want down...make the man feel like it was HIS idea to go South...haha!

  3. The image of you on the beach with your grandparents and thousands of drunk college hilarious. You are going to have so much fun. :)

  4. this is the stuff that movies are made of. you should bring a video camera along! we missed you at the bachelorette, P&L is not the same without Julie!