Candy Stash.

Papa has "secret" candy stashes all over the house. I use the word "secret" lightly because I know where they are. Grammy knows, too.

Papa's Secret Candy Stashes:
-There is a bag of bridge mix in the basement freezer by the computer. If you don't know what bridge mix is, don't worry. I had no idea what it was until I retired. Bridge mix is basically chocolate covered nuts, malt balls, raisins and caramels mixed together in a big yellow bag. Conveniently, Papa only likes the nuts and I only like the raisins and the caramels. No one likes the malt balls.
-There is a bucket of jelly beans in the pantry next to the crackers. It also has a lot of malt balls in it because when Papa and I eat our favorites from the basement freezer bridge mix, Papa pours the rejects into the jelly bean bucket.
-There is a bag of assorted candies behind the driver's seat in the Cavalier, aka the "small car" (as opposed to the Lincoln, the "big car"). These are usually the candies that you can mix and match from WalMart: a little bit of bridge mix, a few maple nut candies, and the occasional Werther's.
-When Grammy and I bake, we always freeze some of the cookies for later. These are stored in the deep freezer, next to the bag meals. The other day, we ran out of cookies upstairs, so I went down to get the extras, but the entire bucket was empty! I took it upstairs to show Grammy and she said:
Grammy: I think I know who got into those.
Papa: yelling from the other room I never eat cookies from the basement freezer!
Julie: Who does then?
Papa: Grammy does. I think you should make some new cookies tonight anyway.
Julie: Oh yeah? What kind?
Papa: The kind with the toffee in them that Grammy makes. But I want you to put more toffee in.
Grammy: They won't even cook if you put more toffee in! We already put a whole bag in them!
Papa: Oh sure they will.
Julie: Well, maybe if I use a different recipe we can put more toffee in.
Papa: No, no, no, I want them just like Grammy makes them.
Julie: Well, then you'll have to go to the store for some more ingredients.
Papa: Make me a list.

As we already know, Papa loves to go to the grocery store. This particular trip took him a long time, seeing as there were only two things on his list. Along with the buttermilk and toffee bits that we sent him to get, Papa returned with:
-A watermelon. Papa and I love watermelon.
-More yogurt. This time he brought home raspberry cheesecake flavored yogurt. The other day he had me make him a list of all the flavors of yogurt that I like. I didn't know raspberry cheesecake flavor existed, but I'm glad it does. Papa was really proud of his find and was excited for me to try it. He kept asking me if I saw the new yogurt flavor he got me. I saw it.
-Baby swiss and colby-jack cheese for grilled cheese on Wednesday. He decided that since Grammy and I are at belles on Wednesday, we're going to have tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches every Wednesday.
-A loaf of bread. Grammy and I love bread.
-Vanilla Soy Milk. Soy milk lasts a long time, but Papa doesn't believe it because regular milk doesn't last very long, so he buys me new soy milk a lot.

Maybe Papa also took the long way home from WalMart. I mean, neither way is really that long, one path is about 2 miles and the other is about 2.5 miles, but the 2.5 mile path also passes by the funeral home. And when you pass by the funeral home, you have to slow down and stop in front of it so you can read the board listing who has died and when their funerals are. And if there is a visitation going on at the time, you have to either drive by to try and figure out who is there based on the cars out front or you have to go in and sign your name to the guest book.