There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. -Robert Half

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


So, Papa does this thing we like to call "Withdrawal." Basically, Withdrawal occurs when Papa sits in a chair and folds his arms and mentally blocks out the rest of society. Sometimes he bounces his head up and down when he Withdraws. He told us that when he does this, he is blocking out everything around him. I remember one time a few years ago, we were eating Sunday dinner at my parents house, and Papa was Withdrawing, and for some reason, maybe just to pass along his infinite wisdom, he decided to teach us all how to Withdraw. He told us to cross our arms, slouch back in our chairs, and look down, so we all sat around the table and Withdrew from society. I must say, Logan is the best at Withdrawal because he has the facial expression down. It is a mixture of 3/4 pouting and 1/4 spacing out. This finding was surprising to me, however, because my sister Rachel is really good at pouting and I would have guessed she would excel at the pout/space cadet look. Andy, my older brother just folds his arms and laughs, and who can blame him? We look ridiculous.
When we were in Florida at Aunt Dotty's house, Papa was Withdrawing, so Grammy and I told Aunt Dotty about his little habit. She just looked at him, laughed and said: "Sometimes we forget what we look like to other people." Which is very true.

An Example of People who Forget what they Look Like to Other People:
Some of the bars in Columbia are always filled with really drunk girls. I'm not sure why they all congregate in these certain places so, if you're worried about finding yourself squished between drunk college kids, I have discovered some important factors that help to differentiate these bars from other, more sophisticated bars.
Leave the bar immediately if:
-The music is so loud you have to use Rachel Language to convey what you're trying to say.
-There is an abundance of college-aged males in the bar.
-There is one of three specials going on: $10 bottomless cup, quarter draws, or $1 triple wells.
-There is an unneccessary number of bright flashing lights.

You can thank me later.

How to distinguish "those girls:"
1) They are over-dressed. "Over-dressed" usually means they are wearing really short dresses, even in the dead of winter, and have obviously worked on their hair and make-up for hours. They also don't wear coats, because that wouldn't match their outfits. Oftentimes, however, "over-dressed" also includes UGG boots, which can apparently be magically paired with everything from sweatpants to sundresses. I must have missed that fashion memo.
2) They are really drunk.
3) They are really loud because they are drunk.
4) They travel in groups of 4 or more.
5) Though they think their hair looks good, for some reason toward the end of the night, they start messing with it. Maybe it is to give themselves that "I-don't-work-very-hard-on-my-hair-because-I'm-low-maintenance" look, but if you survey the scene, you'll see girls flipping their hair every which-way, giving themselves the "my-hair-looks-ridiculous" look. It's quite the social phenomenon.

Luckily, Grammy, Papa and I only go to Clancy's where the most popular attire consists of jeans, a camouflage jacket and a cigarette.


  1. I know the ones you speak of. haha I wish I could withdraw at times. But my brain won't let just keeps working.

  2. LOL i love #5. so true, so true. i miss the bean.

  3. Bill's been 'withdrawing' for decades; just one of his unique talents. You should have seen him during the months prior to your mom & dad's wedding! Didn't really know if he was in deep thought or just about to blow a gasket!! :D