There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. -Robert Half

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I know everything.

I know where everything is in the house. I don't know why or how, but I'm just good at observing and remembering my surroundings (maybe I'll put this on my resume...). Sometimes Papa will get candy or some new body wash or something and he'll ask me: "Did you see what I bought at WalMart today?" And I respond: "Yeah, you got [some new bodywash/candy/other]; I know everything, remember?" He remembers.
One time my little brother and his friend, Luke, went to Grammy and Papa's for a weekend last summer. This was the summer that Papa discovered body wash. One morning, Papa asked Logan and Luke if they knew anything about body wash. I'm pretty sure they just laughed, but Papa then went into a description of how to use body wash:
"First you take the pouf and get it wet, then you put a quarter-sized amount of body wash on the pouf and lather it up, you see this body wash makes a really good lather, and then you wash yourself." He has taught many people how body wash works, so if you have any confusion on the matter, I know the man with the answers.
My grandparents have lived in the same house for my entire life. The kids always use the shower in the basement (Papa's shower). When I moved in last August, Papa took me to the basement bathroom and asked me if I knew how to use the shower. I told him I've been showering there my entire life. Then he took me to the doorknob and asked me if I knew how to lock the door. I told him I've been using this bathroom my entire life. He then proceeded to show me how the lock turns, and then he had me practice locking and unlocking the door.
Another time he taught me how to eat a grapefruit by cutting it into segments. He's also taught me how to check the sticker in my car to see when I need an oil change, how to cut a lemon for our water, how to cook bacon in the broiler, how to cut a thin slice of bread, how to change the channel on the TV, how to use a letter opener and how to set the timer on the oven.
But Papa's not the only one who teaches things in this house. I teach Papa a lot about technology. I've taught him how to turn his DVD player on, how to check his voicemails, how to put his pictures from his digital camera onto the computer, and how to make bookmarks in his browser so he and Grammy can read my brother's and my uncle's blogs. My favorite part of playing teacher is that whenever I'm teaching Papa something, Grammy is right behind us with her little pad of paper and pencil taking notes on everything I say so they don't forget. There are notes on how to operate technological appliances all over the house.
Another favorite thing about Grammy's note-taking is that there are no "normal" pens in the entire house. I use the word "normal" loosely because what is a "normal" pen anyway? The pens at Grammy and Papa's, however, are far from normal. I think they are all at least 25 years old. They are either really heavy metal or those weird pens that look like pencils. One day I went through the house to see if there was a regular Bic pen lying around, AND THERE WASN'T! Every single pen in the house is old. It's amazing.


  1. I write resumes daily. Would be glad to help you out with one when your ready to come out of retirement.

    PS: I know ive met your famous Roomates before in our 10 years of knowing eachother, but am dying to meet them again! You, me(baby), Grammy and Papa need to hit up Clancys ASAP.

  2. yes PLEASE! You know my schedule, so come down any time :)

    I don't know how to respond to people's comments, so Ashley, Terri and Andrea: Clancy's Pub is calling our names.

  3. Just reply on their blog so they see it on one of their recent postings.


  4. I love this post.

    Road trip! We'll get together and let you know when we are coming so you can prepare your grandparents!